Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Do you have that awful feeling like you won’t do well on that test? Do you feel you are not ready for that interview or presentation? Do you think you can’t approach the boss for that promotion or raise? Do you say yes when you mean to say no or do you say no when you mean to say yes? Do you have trouble deciding to do something and do you over-analyze instead of acting? Do you feel you care too much about what other people think or say about you? Do you feel fatigued or tired sometimes or most of the time? Do you feel like you are never at ease with that person or thing? Are you attracted to someone and still not able to talk to him or her? If any of these or alike ring a bell, the good news is that you can improve this state of mind and be in a much more empowering state.
This blog is inspired by true events in my life and the steps I take to remain in a peak state of mind.
State of Mind
First, my definition of state of mind is simple: the mood or the mental state you are in. I’ve endured quite a bit with subconsciously and habitually being in state of mind that I am not proud of. I am referring to dis-empowering states that do not bring your truest self or your best side; Personally, I think it is an attack on one’s truest identify. To look on the brighter side, think of it as a call to action.
Conversely, I have been in one of the most beautiful states of mind that one could ever wish for. A state where everything feels possible, a state where you wake up feeling like you can handle any challenge that comes your way, a state where you feel limitless and very optimistic about the future. To have an appreciation for the word limitless, please watch the movie “Limitless” with Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, and Robert De Niro. I am not advocating here to use pills to be in a great state. A pill will probably give you a temporary feeling along with possibly loads of short or long-term side effects. If you want a long-lasting feeling that you have control over, you must work hard and deliberate to get it; no different from anything else in life that’s worth having.
A great state of mind doesn’t mean you are obnoxious, loud or overly excited. It doesn’t mean you feel great at the expense of others around you. It is a feeling you have when you are truly at peace with yourself and things around you. A state where nothing or very little bothers you; a state where you feel very confident in yourself (no pretense; pure honest confidence) you don’t feel hurt by what anyone says, does, said or did; a state where your mind and body feel vibrant (no pains and aches due to inactivity or illness), a state where you are not angry or dissatisfied most of the time, or a state where you are not snapping at your kids, spouse, colleagues or class mates.
Let me be clear. You can be poor, less powerful, not as talented and have a great state of mind and positive mindset to aspire to be better and not be despondent. Conversely, you can be rich, be a distinguished member of the society or class, blessed with virtually a lot of things that people would only hope for and still be miserable. I think this fact is well-known within our society based on the number of highly accomplished people we’ve lost over the years to depression and suicides.
The Power of One’s State of Mind
How do you explain preparing so hard for a test, an interview or presentation and you end up not doing so well? Conversely, how do you not prepare as much for a test, interview or presentation and still do very well? Have you ever seen an elderly person (Septuagenarian or Octogenarian) with a positive predisposition and who feels and appear bright, vibrant, sharp and younger? Have you ever seen a middle-aged person who looked frail, ill and with a bad temperament and demeanor? The answer to this is the power of state of mind.
In a previous blog, I referred to “taking action” as the key to dealing with negative emotions. If you continue to find yourself in a state you don’t feel proud of, change it. Do so by forming new conscious habits that gets you in the proper state of mind. When you find yourself living or having to fall back into a certain messed up state regularly, it means one thing and one thing only. You’ve probably formed strong negative subconscious habits that you need to change. Therefore, this brings me to the five habits that have helped me and I believe will you help you too.
Be Active, Achieve Lasting Vibrancy
If you doubt that being active can help improve your state, please try to honestly tell me how you feel immediately after a moderate or strenuous exercise (besides the body ache you get if you have not been active for a while). Your physiology changes how you feel, think and act – the gush of vibrancy, the clarity in your thoughts, ideas and the way you feel. What you experience after an exercise is a change in your bio-chemistry. You get a sudden boost of energy that lasts for a while and gets you in a state of mind that gets you to take action but then it only lasts so long and you are back to your default state. But if you exercise very regularly and make this a habit, the great feeling you get becomes almost perpetual. When you combine exercises with taking in essential nutrients and the right amount of rest, it wards off fatigue, illness, stress and many other health concerns that lead to low energy and weak state. For the exercise, at least 20 minutes a day would do.
Focus On The Right Things
While exercising regularly keeps your mental focus, use it to form a new habit of thinking positively. Don’t let external factors determine your state. Use being active to generate empowering ideas on how to solve the challenges you have. Whatever you focus on, you’ll feel. Because of how the subconscious mind works, if you focus on negative things, you’ll feel and act in negative terms. The more you feel and act in a certain way regularly, the more it becomes a habit that’ll take more work to get rid of. Stop focusing on the wrong things. Snap out of it. Being active and eating the right things helped me.
When you are active and you focus on the right things, and you are purposefully thankful for all the things you are grateful for, you feel alive and in a great state. I don’t see how you can’t be grateful about your heart that beats 60-100 times per minute (without you even doing much to deserve this) and still feel upset about what someone did or said to you or about the things you don’t have or that you’ve lost. While I am not here to preach, I do believe in the supernatural. If you leave that burden you think you have onto the supernatural (God, in my case), and you are truly grateful, you’ll be rewarded. Think about it. If you thank someone for giving you something, you are likely to get more of it. If you don’t thank the person who gave you something and all you do is complain or focus on what’s wrong, they’ll likely take it back from you because you don’t appreciate it. This should really scare you. It does for me. Be thankful and trust your worries into the hands of your creator.
Ideally this should be the first item on this list. In my experience I knew I had to be thankful but lacked the strength to genuinely do so until I put myself in a peak state through exercises.
If you cultivate the habit of taking full responsibility for your action and inaction, and fulfilling the first three habits above, your mental state of mind will improve every day. Don’t blame people or situations for your current position in life. You are where you are so you can learn and grow. If you complain and point the fingers regularly, it becomes a habit that’s not helping your state of mind; it weakens your subconscious mind. The mind wants to shift the focus to something else. The problem is: That something else is not going to solve the problem; you will. Life may not seem fair sometimes and it isn’t simply black and white. It is not a straight-line either. It is a journey filled with numerous experiences that are geared to shaping who we become. You’ve got to ask yourself, will blame help me become who I really would like to be or will taking responsibility and taking action achieve this?
Live for Others as well
The final habit you must cultivate is to live life not just for yourself. The moments that I have felt happiest and limitless the most are moments where I’ve helped others. Give people your time, your money, your love, your passion or whatever. Some things are easier to give than others; the harder they are to give, the more rewarding it becomes. Add value to people’s lives. People are people and will sometimes take advantage of your generosity; you must be careful and vigilant and be able to discern this. However, when you give and add value to others you expand your mental state and the experience open doors for replenishment. The reward may not necessarily come to you directly or immediately but may come to you later in life or to your descendants and things you care about. I think that I am where I am today because of the things my parents may have done in their life time and in the past and the things that I might have done in my lifetime. One of the biggest secrets to living a fulfilled life is through giving to others and not simply thinking about oneself all the time. Try to imagine for a second, what life would be today if the amenities and things you enjoy were created by people who only thought of themselves.
As a common theme in my blogs, make these five key steps a habit. Engage in all for a period of 30 days so they become part of your subconscious mind. For a perpetual effect, don’t stop doing these things.
Thanks for reading and I hope this post resonates with you and it is of some value. Let me know your thoughts. Please share your feedback or comments below and share this post with others on your social media network.
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